chris.xtjnr

2010-08-11T01:09:00.002+08:00

So I spent the last week going for internship interviews at different ad agencies. This industry is an extremely difficult industry to get into, especially without experience (which usually means internships for grads).

One of them asked me why would I wanna become an intern since I already have a year of experience in the fashion industry. I thought I knew the answer, but was feeling the pressure of being interviewed and could barely string together a proper sentence (in my opinion!).

I finally got a call from one of the ad agencies (a big one.. well, all 3 are big ones haha), but I was pretty reluctant to give an answer immediately. Instead, I am keen on the 2nd agency I interviewed at. It is a better gig, from what I understand, and definitely felt like a nicer and better working environment.

Oh well, I will just hafta see how it goes.

2010-07-13T18:38:00.002+08:00

I went down to People's Park to get some shirting and suiting fabrics. I realised that by buying fabrics and going down to a tailor for just CMT, it will save me so much more $.

So I got myself some 100% Egyptian cotton and 100% Italian cotton, and wool + cashmere fabric. Then I went down to this really ah pek aunty kinda tailor shop at Chin Swee area and CMT 3 shirts and 1 pants.

This kinda old neighbourhood shops are the best. Their services are personal, their workmanship are good and cheap, and the clothes fit you to a T. The aunty, especially, was super chatty, which made my tailoring shopping experience so much nicer than walking into any other shops. The aunty even told me to "ni chi Jalan Sultan Textile Center mai bi jiao pian yi". Lol.

Despite their old facade (they have been there for over 30 years balls!) and their old age, their clothes are surprisingly modern looking.

I will take some pictures the next time I go and collect my clothes.

2010-06-14T16:33:00.001+08:00

Looking for a job is never easy. You send out resumes, seat and wait for companies to call you for an interview, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait...

2010-05-04T13:20:00.003+08:00

Cooped up at home, with nothing to do, thinking of how much I wish to get out of here.

Can you imagine earning only $5 a day (8 hrs a day)? That is the typical salary of someone in Thailand, and I don't mean the Thai hi-so elites. How they survive on such miserable sum of money is baffling to a foreigner like me, who refuses to work for $5 an hour.

Oh, how I miss Thailand. Many people cannot fathom why I love that place so much ("..but it is a 3rd world country!", "so dirty", "they are farmers", "why don't you save up for Europe instead!")... oh how arrogant and irritating Singaporeans are. They dream of Europe or America, thinking places "over the other side", where the weather is cool and the people are hot and the buildings are beautiful and everything is so high class, are better than "these lowly 3rd world nations around Singapore".

How idiotic.

2010-04-14T23:02:00.003+08:00

Just my luck to tear my ACL. I have been informed that I will require surgery and physiotherapy. And I can't participate in sports for a year after the damn surgery.

See why I hate coming back?

Urgh.

2010-04-06T21:05:00.001+08:00

I am back in Singapore, and all I wanna do is to get out.

I miss everything back there.

2010-03-23T11:50:00.018+08:00

I just came back from Pattaya where we went for a short getaway before I leave Thailand. Booked into this nice resort for only 900baht a night, which is approx $30 plus. Got a pool just right outside my bungalow!

Thats my place!

We, or most accurately, I (since I forced her to go with me), wanted to visit Ripley's. I got a thai price because I could speak thai and I look like thai.

I rate the place: 6/10. Kinda cheesy for the very expensive prices.

I kissed Victoria and I liked it

We visited Koh Larn for a few hours. It was a 45mins boat ride from Pattaya to the island.

The horrible effects of tourism = lots of beach chairs on the beach.

2010-03-03T00:18:00.004+08:00

Sometimes the only way to get things off your chest is by blogging; even if no one reads your blog, the sense of telling 'dear diary' helps to cope with what you are feeling.

It is already March, and time flies faster when you are happy. I should be going home soon, in about a month time.

How my heart aches at the thought of going home. I do not dread the life (abeit mundane) and the people I know back home, on the contrary.. But how am I suppose to give up this love of my mine that has become all I have known for these past few months?

I wait upon the day of going home with agony. We just had another round of crying, this time after mentioning I will probably go home from our trip down to the South and not come back to this place in Pai we call 'home'.

This house, OUR house, feels like where my head can rest and never feel weary. To have to leave everything I have right now and go is killing me, ever so softly. No one can understand, for this is the dream I have been dreaming of for years.

I am so worried that everything here disappears when I leave Thailand. Will I get to see her face again? Can our love continue beyond everything that will happen? Can we sustain our love?

I am scared, Nan, really scared.

I love you, always and forever yours,
Moo Uan.

2010-02-26T13:25:00.008+08:00

Akha costume. Didn't even know Akha people existed until I met Nan. Nowadays only old folks (like Nan's mom) will wear the costume. Unfortunately in Thailand, the Thai Thais look down upon village people, and nickname them 'Mountain People' as they are perceived to be old fashioned and behind times. This results in younger Akha people and those of other tribes to disassociate with their heritage and try to hide their identity. Thankfully, Nan does not think this way.

Ah, I have cut down considerably on my training. This week I only trained... 2 sessions on 2 separate days! Having a gf is not good ;)

We visited a National Park and though it was not as beautiful as say, Mount Intanon, the florals were still captivating. It was nice to be out of Pai for awhile.

It doesn't look like Thailand, does it?!

2010-02-08T21:07:00.004+08:00

2010-02-01T12:32:00.003+08:00

Things have been pretty chaotic these past few days.

Left Pai after my partner's mother found out about us (caught us sleeping together). Got a shoe thrown at me and her mom was cursing and swearing at me. Perhaps it is good that I cannot speak Northern Thai cos I didn't understand a word.

We went to Chiang Rai then to Mynmar, and while on our way there her mom called and said all is forgiven and we can be together if we want to, but she must come back and work because her sister is gonna sell her goods and keep the money for herself, instead of giving it to the parents to build a new home. Drama.

So we decided that since all is good, we'll go back to Pai. Except at the Mynmar border, the immigration officer told me my visa is only valid till Feb 7th.

Mother fucking shit.

So here I am in Chiang Mai, deciding where should I go to do my visa extension. 2 options : Vientiane, Laos or back to spore then come back again. But the spore option requires me to go to Bkk.

2010-01-17T20:23:00.002+08:00

The best birthday ever.

Oh man, I am 22. I wish I could just stop growing up; getting older scares me.

2010-01-05T13:57:00.010+08:00

I'm very happy here in Thailand, for those who are worried about me.

2009-12-25T18:05:00.002+08:00

I refunded my ticket to Bangkok and I am back in Pai because there is someone here waiting for me and I couldn't bear to leave her.

And I am glad that I am back. I find myself being more into her than I thought I would, and having someone who loves you so much is a feeling that words can't describe.

2009-12-21T19:08:00.001+08:00

How do 2 people maintain a relationship when language is a barrier?

And I wish you would stop calling me 3 or4 or 5 times a day. I need my space. Gosh.

2009-12-14T18:38:00.002+08:00

So I have moved out of Pai and now I am in Chiang Mai training at Chai Yai gym.

Is it alright to play with someone else's feelings? Sharing a room with someone who has a crush on you is tough, but it is even tougher when you have to share the same bed. Feeling guilty cos I have no feelings for this person, but I am so lonely here I just seem to switch into this 'play' mode, having fun with a few people. Last night we cuddled in bed etc etc. I just hope I am not gonna leave her with a broken heart cos I have no intention of anything serious.

2009-12-09T19:39:00.003+08:00

Some weird shit has been happening here in Pai. First this thai girl (who is not pretty at all) gets all interested in me, then i get muslim girls asking me if i have a girlfriend and that one of them is interested.

Jesus.

Why couldn't I get some hot girl giving me all these attention...

Shermain, if you are reading this, come down here sia. haha.

2009-12-03T13:41:00.009+08:00

Adrien (France) and I

Pee Mam (Thailand) and I

Tarrant (USA) and I

2009-12-02T14:16:00.002+08:00

So I've been in Thailand for more than 3 weeks now, and the initial shock has gone and I have pretty much settled in.

Just had a bout of diarrhea and fever (many of the guys at the gym said that its very common), and I am pretty glad I'm feelin' better now.

Am friends with the guys at the gym now. Not like close buds or anything, but it feels nice to be able to have a chat everyday. There is this Asian American called John or Jon who studies at Notre Dame and scored 1440 out of 1600 for his SAT. Smart boy, he is gonna be a banker in future. Daddy was in the army, grew up as an army brat in Korea.

Then there is an Asian Canadian named David who is a really nice guy. Comes from Vancouver and did not go to college (omg, an Asian who did not go to college?!)

We have a few Brits (2 are sitting right next to me as I type this) and 2 French guys ...

Oh, I got an acceptance letter by University of Oregon.

GO DUCKS!

I'll wait for Smith College's reply before I decide.

2009-11-22T15:16:00.003+08:00

So I have been in Pai for about a week now, and I am just so damn sick of this place.

It is as touristy as it gets, plus this town is so small it is only 4 streets and basically a square. So everyday I go to the same place for lunch and have the same food, and then go to the same place for dinner and have the same food :)

Again, I just love how much Thailand costs.. Everyday I spend about 120baht on average each day ($5!) for my breakfast, lunch, dinner plus some internet. Meals cost 30baht (approx $1.20). And its real food like rice with thai omelette with tofu or pad thai or fried rice. Yum.

The best shit so far, I HAVE FINALLY MOVED OUT OF THE DAMN SHIT HUT TO A CONCRETE ROOM!

2009-11-19T18:49:00.003+08:00

This is my fucking place in Pai.

I HATE IT. I can hear birds and crickets and all that shit associated with mother nature.

I just want a concrete room! 2 more nights. Amen. Then I am moving out.

2009-11-14T21:06:00.003+08:00

Crazy,crazy Bangkok! Leavin Bangkok for Chiang Mai tomorrow, time to get started on the real reason why I came to Thailand - Muay Thai.

But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy my last days in Bkk (at least till Dec)... heh. Got to know Lynn at a lesbian club yesterday, today we headed out to JJ market (it rained, so all we did was drink ice coffee and chat, didn't do any shopping) and caught a movie at Siam Paragon (The September Issue). Gonna miss this beautiful Scot, but I'll see her in Dec. Not sure how this is gonna play out, but I really enjoy hanging out with her (plus her cute Scottish + British accent is oh-so-cute).

The lesbian bar I went to - Efun. Really weird, they had live music and drag queen performance (drag queen show in a lesbian bar??). And they played Thai music, which was definitely weird to dance to. Haha. The club was pretty empty on a Friday night.

And definitely crazy. 2 girls kissing on the platform?!?! Never in Singapore!!

I love Bangkok!

2009-11-13T19:53:00.003+08:00

I'm in Thailand...again!

Currently sitting in my dorm room on my bunk bed, typing on my really small laptop with really small keypad and i keep hitting the wrong letters due to my fat fingers.

Today is my 4th day here, and my mom and sis have finally gone home. They were kinda getting on my nerves... from never having to spend more than an hr each day with them to getting stuck with them 24/7.

Weather is hot hot hot here, I'm itching around my neck. I'm so unwilling to even move to get dinner. The air con is seriously damn enjoyable.

Oh well, that's all.

2009-11-07T11:59:00.002+08:00

Application for colleges is seriously a hassle and it costs a bomb even before I actually get into the god damn schools!

Essays, bank statements, parents financial reports, a stamp from a lawyer to certify I am not a terrorist etc...

TOO MUCH WORK!

And the money part: USD50 for every application to each schools.

They are making me go broke even before I start schooling!

Leaving for Thailand on Tuesday! Got a party in BKK on Friday night, can't wait!

2009-10-27T13:04:00.001+08:00

I have officially joined the unemployed group!

Time to catch up on my sleep.

2009-10-24T21:10:00.002+08:00

Baby, 17 days more to Thailand.

dee jai makkkkk! note to self: jam... mai. DTONG. Dtong gap farang puying suay heh heh heh. Dtong!

Monday is the last day of work. This has been my longest job ever. And I've only been working here for 7 months. Hah. Glad to get out though.

2009-10-14T13:59:00.002+08:00

I just got a new laptop that come with a camera!

For 3 years I have been living with a damn laptop that has been deemed obsolete.

The best thing about this new laptop is that it is only 10.1 inch. Awesome, totally great for traveling.

I am just struggling with the smaller keypad now. My fingers are too big (not fat) for them.

2009-09-22T21:59:00.002+08:00

49 days to Thailand, woot woot!

My acne pills are causing my skin, esp on my face, to be extremely itchy. Kinda like eczema. Didn't know I wasn't suppose to use facial products with alcohol during this period- my face BURNT after I applied a deep cleanser which contains so much alcohol I can SMELL the alcohol. So one can only imagine the pain I was experiencing the entire day.

Well, many of my friends have embarked on a journey overseas. While many are studying for a degree, I will be going to Thailand to learn Muay Thai and maybe even fight.

Sometimes I wonder whether I just simply lack the ambition, the vision, or am I just plain crazy.

Gosh, I wish that Zaibon would just reply my email. I need her to fill in forms in order for me to apply to Smith.. I need to apply soon!

2009-09-03T23:32:00.001+08:00

Got promoted today, woot! Which will result in an additional $200/month.

Not that I'll be here any much longer to enjoy this extra $200, since I am quitin in Nov.

2009-08-26T23:03:00.002+08:00

Salut!

I've been pretty busy. Besides working (72 days more till I quit, might I add!), I have started my French class (oui, oui, tres bien, merci), plus I'm studying German on my own (all Thanks to a youtube page, plus a vocab book from Kino). On top of all of these, I AM LEARNING HOW TO READ AND WRITE THAI!!

Sometimes, learning both Deutsch and Francais at the same time can be pretty confusing. For example, I had to reply "and you?" to my classmate, which would be "et vous?". Instead, I said "und vous?" *und is a German word for 'and'.

Tschuss!

2009-08-15T21:41:00.003+08:00

It does not pay to be kind

I am not A.mot, I'm not a rich Indo. I am not Jo.liee, I don't have wealthy parents. I am not even Iv.anna, who has a husband who can pay for the things I want. And you should know that money is important to me. Yet, I still did what I never thought I would do: I loaned you money. All because you are my best friend.

$50, then another another $50, and another $50, and the most recent, $750. You promised to return, and I knew you needed this cash to fly back to Spore (I only just realised that no, you used this amount for your expenses in London. Imagine how I feel.). You said you will return by Nov 9, but now that you are back, you are changing it to "The army will only pay me by Nov... I'll try my best... But if circumstances...".

That was not what you said in your email. You said even if you had to borrow from your mom, you will return if to me by Nov 9.

The Chinese saying, "Jiang qian shang gan qing" (when you talk about money, you will only hurt the relationship), is so true. We can be best friends, but when it comes to money, it comes first.

I suggested that you find a job and all, and you replied by sms "k. since you said it like this. you don't sound like the chrys i know. you make it sound like i'm gonna run away or smthing. geee."

I am so mad now I don't even wanna reply your sms. When you were stuck in London and needed cash, who loaned it to you? Your mom? Your family? Iv.anna? No, it was me. Yet you are making it sound like I OWE YOU a favor now.

Get the facts right, ok my boy? YOU OWE ME, not the other way round. If I wanna be mean, I can insist you pay me back now.

And it is not like you have the best of job track record. If you were more like me in choosing jobs and being less picky about it, then I need not worry. But you have so many expectations and demands and a hi-so attitude.

Chan mai kao jai, gor mai yaak kao jai.

In future, even if it is 50cents, I AM NOT GONNA LEND TO ANYONE, ANYMORE.

2009-08-14T00:04:00.003+08:00

It feels great to wake up at 11am; to toss and turn in bed for another 10 minutes before getting up.

Today is my 2nd day of leave, and boy am I NOT missing work. 4 days in total, someone say a Hallelujah.

2009-08-02T20:32:00.002+08:00

I'm in Italy.

Not. I've not been blogging much, due to my rather uninteresting life. I wish I had more stuff to discuss about rather than the mundane shit I do everyday.

I'm just pondering over my future, as usual. Life couldn't be any more boring. Been busy at work, with the setting up of U___lo@Ion. Huge shop, 3 times the number of mannequins @T1.

Gettin tired of work as more and more of my colleagues are leaving. Latest casualty: Aish. Damn girl, you ain't suppose to leave before me. Now I'm just left with Mitch. Bought my one way ticket to Bangkok (have I blogged about this?). 100 days more. Not that I am in love with Thailand or anything, but rather the idea of getting out of this stuffy place is damn fckin appealing.

2009-07-16T23:03:00.006+08:00

Late post, have been down with flu and sore throat (which got me a 2 day MC!). Pictures from Ang's Bimbotic 21st birthday.

My favorite photo. I look like a rapper.

Ang's cake. We (I) thought of smashing them, but we (I) didn't wanna get killed by Ang so we (I) didn't.

Ang -the one in red. Happy birthday dear. You still owe me MY 21st birthday present and my cab fare of $21 from my place to your lovely event.

2009-07-04T23:16:00.008+08:00

So my bestestestestest friend has left for London on Saturday, for good (tentative for now.) All I can say is that no one will, and can, ever replace his place in my heart. We could have been twins, except that we look so different.

Missing you Ronnie boy.

2009-06-27T19:37:00.006+08:00

So I have finally joined the fighting school I've been meaning to join since 2006. Yesterday was my first Muay Thai training, and I was rather apprehensive about it. Firstly, I was going in all alone (thanks eh,Twin, haha), and secondly, I didn't know what the training would be like.

I was about to chicken out when Main said she couldn't make it, but I figured if I was planning to go to Thailand end of this year to train, then I jolly well better get used to training in a new place alone.

Yesterday I struggled with 50 pushups, 50 situps, 50 abs core shit and 50 squats. And I thought that was bad enough. Today my instructor made us do 100 pushups, 100 situps and 20 (down from 50) burpees.

My chest was hurting; every muscle in me screamed for mercy as I tried to push past the barrier of pain and fatigue. My arms buckled, my thighs burnt. But it was all worth it. At the end of the training, I flopped onto the mat and lied still for a few minutes, visioning my soon-to-be-hot-bod. It was all worth it.

My 'battle scars'. From doing the elbow jab on the boxing bag. Not shown: bruises on knees.

My entire body is either covered in bruises or aching like crap.

2009-06-22T21:16:00.011+08:00

Last day of work for 2 lucky people.

Supper at Siglap = bitching session about U_____o. And our colleagues. No one was spared. (Thanks to Aishah for all the gossips. XOXO.)

Our token geek. Last day of work. Onto NYU bitch!

2009-06-17T22:00:00.005+08:00

More pictures courtesy of Ronald

2009-06-17T21:29:00.006+08:00

The senseless things that people say without thinking can affect one so badly, so much so that he or she is still thinking about that horrific sentence a few days later.

As much as I try to tell myself to be less sensitive and to be more confident, I cannot help but feel indignant whenever a JC student/grad makes a JC vs Poly remark. I tried to dismiss such rude remarks as a childish point of view from a 19 year old, but yet I am unable to hold back my anger, because I know that her views reflects what many JC students feel about poly students/grads.

A comparison of both education system is bound to arise, but such elitism is backward thinking, considering that a number of 6 pointers chose the Poly route instead of the typical JC-to-uni route. Just as there are intellectually-challenged people in Poly, there are also numerous JC students, many of whom I cannot fathom how in the world they got into JC. The fact that JCs like Jurong JC or Pioneer or Serangoon or Tampines and many others exist frankly demonstrates the lack of "selectivity" in admiting a student.

Another guy at my workplace was from SRJC and is in/will be going to NTU's some shit course. What pisses me off about this guy is that his attitude screams JC-elitism, yet he cannot even do simple stockroom tasks and his work attitude stinks. Well, the fact that he came from SRJC might explain his lack of intelligence, yet he fails to see it, and has instead said stuff like "oh I wish J****** and H****** were still around. They were the only JC people I could talk to and understand." Christ, what arrogance.

I have made a new friend at work who came from NJC and would be heading to NYU this August. Probably one of the most intelligent and well-spoken I have met, and she definitely has a 'I am not approchable' demeanor. For a 19 year old she can come across as quite intimidating, but she has earned her right to do so, unlike the previous SRJC guy. The best thing about meeting someone like her was being challenged to improve myself, in terms of getting a degree and also brushing up on my vocab. I have always wanted to take the SATs but procrastination meant that I just kept finding excuses and kept delaying it. It was only after meeting Tegra and Ig, then meeting this colleague of mine that I felt really motivated to do something about it.

I admit that I am not intellectually as smart as many JC students. I may not be able to solve the Math and Physics questions, or even possess a stellar vocabulary, but I am able to draw and paint and build and come up with creative solutions; we all have our own talents and gifts. What I am good at, these JC kids may not be, and vice versa. We have to stop comparing.

2009-06-10T23:05:00.008+08:00

My virgin tattoo experience, and boy did it hurt.

The pain started the moment the needle penetrated my skin. The outlining of the damn dove was probably the most excruciating part as my skin was getting used to the abuse. My mind was in shock, and sweat rolled down my cheeks.

My gay dove

2009-06-06T21:03:00.002+08:00

Had my SAT test this morning. Not too sure what to make of it; some questions were rather tough and I screwed my essay up. Had a writer's block. Or maybe thats just an excuse.

Oh well, not like I am trying to apply to enter Harvard or God knows what other ivy league colleges. It is only Smith College. Maybe I shouldn't use the word 'only' as it may insinuate the idea that it is easy to get into Smith.

Had a confrontation with my manager yesterday, regarding my promotion, or lack thereof. I argued my point of being evaluated as a sales assistant when I should be evaluated as a VMer. To my horror, she mentioned that the Fckin Jap told her that I am hired as a senior sales assoc.

Horrifying thoughts. How degrading, how humiliating. I am afterall a dip holder in fashion, not some crass and uneducated lian or minah who really has no choice but to do sales.

Note to future business owners: Learn a lesson or two from Richard Branson on how to treat your employees. The ability to retain his staff and ensure job satisfaction is something is fckin Japs need to learn.

Anyone needs a VMer?

2009-06-01T21:45:00.001+08:00

2009-05-22T20:26:00.001+08:00

You are leaving, and I'm breaking down.
I don't know how to survive here without you.

2009-05-20T21:01:00.001+08:00

Had to pay $650.55 to the library.

My heart is extremely painful right now.

Sidenote: Getting tattooed on June 10 with Ronnie. Yay!

2009-05-04T20:56:00.018+08:00

This weekend has served as an awakening for me. Inspired by Harvey Milk and insulted by the group of Christian Fundies who hijacked AWARE (a secular NGO for women), I decided to skip work, rally a few people to attend, and headed down to Suntec Convention Hall on 2nd May 2009.

What made me so interested in this whole AWARE saga was due to the lies that the new committee members were spreading. Lies such as AWARE was promoting lesbianism, being gay is a choice, gays can be changed, and sex education only makes teenage girls experiment.

...

Well, those are some ignorant opinions founded on biased opinions with no solid evidence to prove their case. What sense is there that a session on homosexuality in a sex-ed class would turn 40 girls in a class gay?

(And if that logic was true I would have turned out straight. All those topics on hetero normative stuff)

Plus to my knowledge, AWARE has always tried to distant herself from the GLBT community, as they did not want to be known as a lesbian group.

But besides the obvious gay reason on why I chose to make a stand, I also did not agree with their anti-abortion and pro-life stand. While I believe every baby is a life worth conceiving, sometimes a certain turn of event might result in an unwanted pregnancy that would be in the best interest of both mother and baby to abort the baby e.g rape, incest rape. As a secular group, they should not impose Christian values on women in need of help.

If we had lost (we won anyway!), it would be the start of the fall of civil societies in Singapore, resulting in the lack of racial harmony and diversity.

we-are-aware is a group that does not support the new committee, consisting of old and new members.

As a secular group, you should stand up for all women: gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, divorced, abused, raped etc.

I reached there at 12pm, and boy were the queues long.

So I'm anti woman, anti family, anti Spore?

Vote of NO CONFIDENCE

"RESIGN! RESIGN!"

We won, 1414 to 761 votes!

This experience as a first time activist has taught me that no matter how conservative, or perceived to be conservative, a society may be, there is always a hope that human rights and civil rights will prevail over all bigotry, ignorance and discrimination. We should not give up- hope and change is on our way.

2009-04-26T12:56:00.002+08:00

What should I do when I hear homophobic comments?

Do I sit by and do nothing? Or should I rebuke them?

Comments like "Fucking gay faggots" arise time to time at work by members of a certain race. I so badly wanted to scream at them, call out their bigotry and ignorance, yet I was afraid. Not afraid of them, but afraid of being ostracized or accused of shoving my "gay lifestyle", whatever that means, down their throats. So I cowardly backed off, and just said "Don't say that. And anyway faggot means gay. So you are really say fucking gay gay."

Recently a wave of homophobia has swept across Singapore. AWARE, a secular NGO that promotes women's rights and equality has been taken over by a group of Christian fundamentalists, who claimed that AWARE was promoting 'lesbianism' and promoting 'that lifestyle choice'.

As I read each word of every line on the Straits Times, my heart was boiling and I felt incensed. I felt misunderstood. I felt worried. People are gonna assume that all lesbians are man-hating, abused as a child, fatherless, given-up-on-all-men women, and that we are out to 'recruit' other straight women.

There is no truth in this statement by the instigator of this takeover, a mom of a certain homophobic NMP whose last name starts with a T and ends with and O. She cannot be named as she is known for her lawsuits.

I definitely do not belong to any of those descriptions. One of my best friends is a guy, I was never abused, definitely not fatherless, and never had a omg-he-broke-up-with-me-all-men-are-bastards moment. And I can safely say this on behalf of many of my gay friends.

Yet Christian Fundies keep twisting the facts just to keep the majority of Sporeans who are otherwise nonchalent about the issue join their side. When you get parents worried about their kids, you have won the battle.

But the arguement is whether AWARE was too gay-friendly. Well, no they weren't. In fact, they didn't wanna be associated with the gay community as they didn't wanna be seen as a gay organization. That said, they say nothing wrong with being gay and decided that gay women are women afterall and needed equal attention.

Somehow the conservative fundies viewed it as a form of promotion of gay rights.

What can I do about it? I really wanna stand up against it, but I don't know how. I feel useless knowing that we are allowing this to happen. And the more I think about it, the more wary I am of my friends who are Christians, especially those who consider themselves to be more than just church-goers. Will they stab me in the back too? Do they have the same views as these christian fundies? Do they only see me as a sinner in need of help?

I'm staying clear. Organized Religion is now too fundamental for me. You are either with me or against me, and I cannot hang out with people who do not agree with me.

2009-04-21T20:43:00.002+08:00

No I did not die nor did I vanish into thin air (which I suspect some of you might be hoping I did, hah!)... Rather, I have been too busy with work. I mean, come on, look at the picture, you would think we are giving out freebies.

Anyhow, it is a love-hate relationship with U_____. Love it when I get to do what I was hired to do - displays- and hate when I have to do sales (which is 98.9999% of the time). Like how fishy feels about her job, I think I am wasting my time here folding clothes and serving people, some of whom I would very much like to punch.

Job satisfaction is minimal and I am wondering how long more can I tolerate working under such conditions. On a brighter note, the shop has experienced a drop in number of customers since the opening promo has ended. May I add in a Hallelujah?

Hallelujah

2009-04-08T01:12:00.002+08:00

This week has been a week of victory for human rights. 2 states in the US have joined the list of states that recognizes gay marriage: Iowa (a Mid-Western state no less!) and Vermont.

Let's hear it for the Vermont legislature: Governor Jim Douglas had vetoed a bill allowing gay marriage in his state, but his veto was overturned today by members of Vermont's legislature, with a 23 to 5 vote in the Senate and a 100 to 49 vote in the House.

So now gay marriage is legal in Vermont.

It feels so good to write that.

This is historic in that it makes the first time a state has legalized gay marriage with a legislature's vote, Vermont's Burlington Free Press points out, noting that the other states that permit gay marriage—Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa—did so after court rulings.

I know the battle has only begun, but ten years ago who would have ever thought we'd get this far? It was huge enough when Vermont became the first state to allow same-sex civil unions back in 2000.

I'm savoring today's victory.

I know we've had setbacks. The passage of Prop 8, which banned gay marriage in California, still kills me. But our victories in Vermont and Iowa are truly heartening.

What's next?

Well, New England appears to be at the epicenter of the battle for same-sex marriage at the moment. New Hampshire's House of Representatives approved a same-sex marriage bill last month (New Hampshire, by the way, already allows civil unions for same-sex couples), and the legislatures in both Maine and Rhode Island are "considering their own versions, though they are not as far along in the process," The New York Times reports.

2009-04-06T21:35:00.002+08:00

Today was the press event for our store, and boy were there so many journalists and what-nots gathered in one room/store. I was lucky to be in the stock room, so I did not have to face the mad crowd. Give each guest a $100 voucher and all hell breaks loose.

My job at ____ is of highs and lows. I still do not feel compelled to stay on with this company for long, yet I am finally doing stuff that I was hired for - visual merchandising. The chance to work with ___ Japan's visual merchandising team was a real treat. The knowledge and experience that they shared was priceless.

However, the part I am not so keen about is working the sales floor. Which is fine when there are no customers around, but once the crowd comes in, I know my temper will start to flare and yet I have to maintain my cool which ain't gonna be easy.

2009-04-01T23:30:00.002+08:00

I have been busy with work. Setting up a new store is of no joke. Standing from 9-7.30 is causing my heels to hurt, yet I am too vain to wear a pair of sport shoes. Vanity before comfort, as one must suffer for the sake of fashion.

Work aside, I have applied for SAT testing on June 6. So now I am basically working my ass off, and spending .45hr every night n 15mins in the morning to study.

2009-03-23T23:24:00.010+08:00

Met up with Marilene at Vivo, didn't know Vivo had a new store - National Geographic.

Huge horse at the entrance. Made of wood.

Smoking is baddddd, don't smoke kids.

We headed for a 'food fair' at Suntec's convention hall. What a retarded event. Selling food that I can find at a pasar malam. I was expecting cuisine from around the world.

2009-03-21T01:29:00.002+08:00

Choosing a partner

Do we all have a list of attributes or things-he/she-must-have of our ideal partner? Is this list even useful?

One of my friends, M, got attached many months ago, though I only just found out a few days ago. Well, lets just put it this way, her current bf isn't exactly a swoon-worthy guy, and definitely not someone I had imagined my friend dating.

Which brings me to the question- do we all have unrealistic ideas about our ideal partner?

Fat or slim, short or tall, blond, brunette, red or raven black, rich or poor, smart or not that smart, humorous or serious, sporty or geekish, introvert or extrovert, top or bottom... and the list goes on.

I wonder, am I single because I am too picky? I have a certain look, a certain character that I desire; am I just being too picky and unrealistic? Is it wrong to hold on and wait for that someone special, and not just settle for someone less than ideal? Or is the world pressuring us to hook up or feel incomplete?

2009-03-18T21:19:00.002+08:00

Fucking criminals.

My granny received a phone call today from an anonymous caller pretending to be my uncle. "He" pretended to be in pain and the phone was passed to another man pretending to be a "loan shark" and was asking for $20,000.

Of course my granny was worried and believed that guy, and my aunt called my mom and basically the news spread to my uncle who called and assured he was alright and that was a cheating case.

Some people deserve to burn in hell for lying to an old granny.

2009-03-14T22:37:00.006+08:00

Working in a Japanese company is pretty hardcore. I think the Japs are too anal about stuff. Even the most minute of things are enforced by the Japs. For example, we have 4 hours theory and practical on handing baskets to customers. Now, tell me, which other companies in Singapore provide such training?

For my own protection, I will not be using the company's name, because an announcement was made in class the other day that someone had leaked out 'confidential information' on the internet. Lest I accidentally type something they would consider confidential, I will just leave the name out so that the company cannot google "_____ + Singapore". _____ refers to the company's name.

My staff handbook, on everything a staff needs to know about the company.

Stack of class notes. To study for the exams. Yes, we do take exams to become sales assistants. The world is coming to an end. Stupid people have no purpose in life anymore.

He Jin, my colleague, during a particular training. Her glamour pose, hah.

Sneaky shot of Aishah

Tiny. No, that is just her nickname, not her real name, thankfully.

2009-03-09T23:26:00.003+08:00

I am feeling kinda stupid recently. Because now I can't enter into the Bach degree I want and would hafta first take the foundation year and achieve a distinction before I can be considered a place in that degree. Considered - not even guaranteed.

I wonder if I had just stuck to marketing, whether my life would have been easier. I don't doubt for a second that I cannot achieve the necessary results required, I believe as long as I put my heart and soul into it I can definitely achieve what I want.

But the fear remains that I'll lose interest or only to find out later on that I don't really wanna study this course.

2009-03-04T21:18:00.006+08:00

A few days ago we went back to school for cheap eats. Ah.. how we miss TP.

Beautiful rainbow. Pride, baby.

2009-03-01T19:11:00.010+08:00

Another one turns 21. Happy Bday Captain Chueeny.

Yes, you are 21.

MUTINY!!!!

2.30am and making an ass of ourselves

2009-02-27T21:07:00.003+08:00

Ok, so I've got a full time job at U__qlo as a Visual Merchandiser cum Sales Assistant (yes, in an economic crisis, they make the most out of every employee). Well, it beats sitting at home doing nothing, plus I need the cash to study.

Seems like everyone is either going back to school to get their degrees. I wish I have enough cash to send myself to Smith College in the States. Where is my sugar mama?!

2009-02-22T03:02:00.008+08:00

Sorta like Aretha's 'getcha ass back to Brisbane' night out at Timbre @ Substation.

This last picture is dedicated to Miley Cyrus. YOU FUCKING WHITE TRASH HILLBILLY.

2009-02-21T14:06:00.001+08:00

2009-02-14T15:37:00.001+08:00

Adam and Eve hilarious commercial

Taken from foundshit.com

2009-02-13T13:06:00.003+08:00

We all age so fast. Too fast, its scary. A few of us of the original SF Clan met up to gawk at each other and update on what's what and who's who.

2009-02-09T23:25:00.003+08:00

A faux Club Med getaway

2009-02-08T14:46:00.001+08:00

Went to sleep depressed, woke up feeling even more depressed. I miss Ingrid.

2009-02-07T14:42:00.035+08:00

I'm back from Phnom Penh and it was so fucking great I didn't wanna come back. Parties every night, alcohol like no tomorrow (about US$3), playing pool at the bar, hanging out at the guesthouse's balcony with everyone else, and best of all, smoke pot and get stoned.

Yes you read it right (sorry mama). I was like this wide-eyed child staring at my friend in amazement as he rolled up the marijuana leaves. Everyone took a drawl and I had to try it.

My guesthouse with a gay-sounding name. Top Banana was the only place that all the travellers hung out at the balcony and went out, something that all of us agree happens nowhere else in other guesthouses.

Sovy stopped rolling up marijuana when he saw my cam, and I had to convince him to pose with it.

So how was smoking pot? Well, I didn't know whether it was the marijuana or the alcohol, but I was feeling so happy and confident the whole night and I could go into long conversations with people I just met.

Don't let his looks intimidate you. Lucian has a great big heart, volunteering at an orphanage, teaching them art and painting (he is a graphic designer in France). My pool buddy too.

That is not a real gun but it shoots out small plastic balls that hurts like shit.

At the Equinox bar, with 2 new friends that James introduced- Jane, from Melbourne, and Missy from California. Both are volunteers in an NGO.

Lilian, a 36 year old Dutch lady, who was really nice and we bitched about the relentless bastard tuk tuk drivers in Phnom Penh and the drug scene in Holland.

Lilian, Chrys and James. James is from sydney and is studying nursing at Notre Dam Uni.

This is Ingrid from Portland, Oregon. She is definitely a real cool chick, her tattoos are so awesome it makes me wanna get one too. And she is really funny and really nice to talk to. And she is a stunner, had this little crush on her. The best part of all was that she said she wished I didn't hafta leave the next morning and it was great to meet me. Aww man I swore if this girl is bi or gay I would so propose to her. Damn that I only got to meet her on the last night when we all went out.

She is drinking Mekong Bowl, which is like rum and cola and lime and taste like vodka coke. I got so high on it (plus the marijuana).

We headed out to Daniela's house for a mini house party for pre-clubbing drinks and food. Daniela is a German lady living in Phnom Penh for a few months for internship (if I remembered correctly. I have been meeting too many people.) So many Germans were around, like 6 of them. 1 Italian, 1 American, 1 Khmer, 1 Singaporean, 1 French and 1 Aussie.

Chrys, Ingrid and James. We were the English-speaking group, and we had the Germans group and a spanish duo.

Oh what sweet memories :) Take me back!

And the two crazies.

Pool scene. Looks like I'm in the States or Europe not Phnom Penh.

My first German lesbian friend, Denise. We met the night before but I only found out she's gay on my last night when I asked her if she had a boyfriend in Germany (Munich) and she replied "girlfriend". Aww. Very sweet, mild and gentle, 27years old can you believe it.

This guy went nuts. He went skinny dipping in front of a gazillion people.

The traffic in Phnom Penh is crazy, dangerous and mind blowing. There are no fixed lanes nor any traffic rule. One can ride on either side, either direction, on the road, on the pavement, make a turn anytime you need to.. First day I was too scared shitless to cross the road, then I got used to it so now it is an art. You need the art of crossing PP's road to survive and escape unhurt.

"Petrol kiosk" all round the city. Old school.

And the rubbish all around is overwhelming.

Wat Phnom

At the shooting range, you pay US$40 for 40 rounds of M16. Crazy price, but unforgettable experience.

And the infamous Toul Sleng prison, where the attocities of the Khmer Rouge took place. Google it if you have no idea what I am writing about. Well worth knowing about.

Barb wires to prevent prisoners from commiting suicide by jumping down the building.

Classrooms converted to small prison cells. Prisoners are chained on one foot, and are allowed to bathe around 7 times every 2 months.

A prison cell for high ranking prisoners. Room is spacious, but no less torturous. Prisoners are chained and tortured on the bed.

The experience was just eye opening, especially when you see pictures of young boys and girls who became Khmer Rouge soldiers and commited acts of torture and murders. The torture pictures were gruesome and I did not have the stomach to look at it.

Now that I am back home, I am really missing all my friends at Top Banana, especially her. I really wish I am back there now instead of being stuck here with no goals no plans nothing.

2009-02-04T05:26:00.003+08:00

I'm at our beloved Changi Airport T1 making full use of the free internet service. I have been here since 12am and my flight is at 6.45am. I wasted my time away by having mash potato and a scone at Popeyes, a banana soymilk at Jolly Bean, and eventually decided that I was too tired and thus headed to the viewing gallery and joined 7 other homeless/god-knows-maybe-a-fugitive people camping out there. Occupied a little corner, my backpack as my pillow, and after 2 hours my back began to ache and thus ending my sleeping session.

Ok. Tschau for now.

2009-02-02T23:07:00.004+08:00

Guten Tag. I met the girls on Friday night for drinks at Timbre @ the art house and boy were the drinks expensive and it came with so little alcohol I felt like was drinking iced tea.

Leaving for Phnom Penh, Cambodia on Wednesday. So tomorrow I'll be at the airport from 11ish pm till check in at 4.45am. That is the price for being a cheapskate and not wanting to cab down.

2009-02-01T15:24:00.003+08:00

Sigh, I hate Chinese New Year. An annual dreadful feeling. Yet without it I'll be so broke.

This year no stupid repeated questions were made about who I'm dating. Thank the Lord for that. But rather lots of questions and 'concern remarks' about my trip to Thailand. Jeez man, Thailand is not as dangerous as what people think. I think the States and Europe are much more dangerous than this supposed '3rd world, crime aplenty' country.

This year's economic crisis has not been felt yet (you can really gauge the economy by the ang bao you receive) as most in my nanny's family (the major contributor of $$ every year) is either a civil servant or some so-damn-high-rank employee in a so-damn-big firm. Plus its my 21st year. So I received more rather than lesser.

I was walking with my sister to my granny's place for more reunion dinner and we talked about my sexuality. I am definitely proud that as a sister, I have taught her since years ago to respect and not judge people based on their sexuality, especially with high religious morals like the 'Jews' in the Bible. And I'm glad that she is so accepting, not seeing anything wrong with my sexuality, and so open-minded at such a young age. Good for you, C.

I have been feeling so lost since I've been back. Not sure what my plans are, not sure if I should go back school or work. EVERYONE is asking me what my plans are, and it is just irritating me because I have no answer to that. And all I wanna do now is just to travel. And then my mom would say 'snap back into reality'.

And because I have no work nor school to fill up my time, I decided to start learning German. Maybe one day I can be a tourist guide. A German speaking tourist guide. Was contemplating between French or German, but decided on German as it is easier to learn it on your own. French has to be learnt in school.

So, guten Tag, and auf widersehen for now.

2009-01-29T15:27:00.003+08:00

So I got onto the train heading to Hatyai station, and it was all Thai people on board.

I don't know what it was but I suddenly felt very depressed and dreading to go home. I teared and just felt awful. It might be because everyone around me spoke Thai and are Thai and I just felt so alone. But I think one of the main reasons why I just don't want to come back is because I have made so many friends along the way, nationalities I would have otherwise not met had I not gone on a backpacking trip. Just chilling out and having great convo and not needing to worry about anything.

So I sat by myself, reflecting on my journey thus far when I suddenly heard "seat 24?". ENGLISH!!!! Which could only mean one thing - backpackers!

I turned around and saw two female travellers, one looked like she just came out of Harry Potter with her red unkempt curly hair and pale skin. I didn't know whether I should go up and chat with them, so I just sat in my seat.

A while later one of them walked past my seat heading for the toilet, and I took my chance to ask where shes from.

England, she says. Then she sat opposite me and we began introducing each other. I can't remember her name now, but she and her friend are from South London, recent A level grads so travelling during their Gap Year. Wants to study graphic design and only 20 turning 21. Which I couldn't tell because they look really young like 17 or 18, when normally Caucasians look older than their real age.

Went to their seats and played card games, realised I didn't quite get their accent and slangs and got bored, so I headed back to my seat. But i felt much better after talking to them and I didn't feel so depressed anymore.

Back to Hatyai, I stayed at McDonalds till shopping centres were opened at 10am. Then I wasted time till 6pm when I boarded the bus back to Singapore. Saw this really hot and fit french(? she looks french) lady who is probably in her 50s but looks so much better than people in their 30s with her toned body. She was with her husband (I presume) and they were heading to Kuala Lumpur. Damn why not Singapore. Met another young couple from Sweden (typical swedes with fair skin and blond locks), also going to KL. WHY KL AGAIN!

In the end when we reached Singapore, there were only 6 people, all Singaporean uncles. What a shit end to a journey.

2009-01-29T14:50:00.005+08:00

I am already back in Singapore, but that is another story. Let me continue from where I last stopped.

Pai.

Yes I left Pai and took a 3 hour minivan back to Chiang Mai in order to catch a train to Bangkok for my last few days in Thailand.

With a few hours to spare till my train ride, I decided to look for a hairdresser and have lunch. So I found a place that sold 35baht Kao Pad Nuea (beed fried rice, or beef flied lice as they say), and a barber that charged me 80baht for a haircut and 60baht for a hairwash.

Then I bought my dinner which consisted of 2 small packets of chips and 2 small boxes of Honeystar and Cornflakes and a packet of Lactasoy soyamilk, and headed opposite for the train station. Food is expensive on the train (150baht). I learnt my lesson well from the first train ride.

I saw lots of noisy Thai students and I freaked out because I was worried we were gonna be in the same cabin. But of course that was not the case as my 2nd class sleeper was considered too expensive for them (851baht).

As I was seating there waiting for the fucking train to arrive (thai trains.. damn fucking never on time), I met this old Brit lady named Wendy who was travelling alone. At first, I just said hi out of courtesy as I didn't think we would have much in common to talk about. I believe it is called age gap.

But as we talked I soon realised this lady is seriously damn funny and interesting. Never liking old Singaporean aunities and ah mahs, I found myself laughing to her jokes and having a great conversation.

So she is from Surrey, England, and she has 2 daughters who are married and 2 grand daughters, and is a social housing worker who volunteers as a counsellor to teens with addictions during her free time. And she loves going to gay prides in London for the fun and music. What a lady!

Then another passenger came on board and I had to go back to my place, but Wendy told me to squeeze in and share a seat with her. Thai seats are made for 2 skinny thais, not 2 farangs, so we had quite a squeeze. The night came and we chatted till I was so tired I had to retire for the night.

The next morning we said our goodbyes at Bangkok's Hualampong station, and we promised to email each other. Maybe one day I'll visit her in Surrey.

I took a cab down to Lub d Bangkok, my boutique guesthouse in Bangkok. For those going to Bangkok, I recommend this place 100%. Cheap (450baht) dorms with clean shared toilets and free internet and games in the foyer, this place resembles an ikea showroom. Being a design grad, this place is gorgeous. The minimalist style and colors black, grey and red felt more like a hotel. Security was so high tech I think James Bond pales in comparrison. Location was alright, about 10mins walk to Sala Daeng BTS and Silom MRT. Price was quite high for a dorm with shared bathroom, but this place is absolutely worth the price.

Check out www.lubd.com.

As usual, in Bangkok, one shops. So straight away upon reaching my place, I took a shower, checked my mail, then took the BTS to Saphan Taksin, and then changed to a boat to my favourite shopping place Wang Lang. But I didn't see much interesting stuff this time at Wang Lang.

Collected my 4 shirts from the tailor, which I am now finding faults with. I was in too much of a rush to really analyze the shirt when I was there and I forgot to tell them some details I wanted. Well, what the heck. A lesson learnt. But sis said the shirts look fine. Ronald said they look 6/10 and not worth the price.

Met Ploy, treated me to Japanese restaurant and Mango sticky rice at Siam Square, which was so nice of her.

Went back to my guesthouse early as I felt awkward meeting other travellers. Oh I was staying in a female dorm so I was worried how the others might feel about me staying in the same dorm as them. Turned out I was being paranoid as usual as I met them the next morning and all said hi. I'm such a loser. I even met this Swiss backpacker whom I had noticed in Pai cos she was smoking hot. So I asked her if she has been to Pai, and she must have thought I am a stalker because I could describe her outfit down to her shoes. Oops.

In the middle of the night, this crazy South Korean lady in the same dorm received a phone call from her O-mmo-ni (mom) and began talking loudly. Crazy bitch. In the end this Brit lady next to her made some noise about it so the South Korean lady went out.I hope they don't think just because I am Asian I am her friend.

Then it was the dreadful day to head back to Hatyai. So I left the hotel without taking back my 200baht deposit (which I am now emailing them to ask for fund transfer) and headed to the train station.

2009-01-20T09:00:00.013+08:00

Pai, Thailand

762 curves round the mountains later in a minivan (3 hrs), I arrived at Pai, a small hippie town where it is known for nothing and yet totally touristy. Like really, people go to Pai to do nothing.

Dreadlocks everywhere, really hippie shit. But too many Thai tourists which I absolutely couldn't stand because there were too many motorbikes on the streets.

As Pai was a last minute decision, I did not research on where to stay, so I only began to walk around town looking for a gueshouse, which was a bad idea as it was high tourists season and many were full.

I finally found one by the name of Pai In The Sky. How original. 250baht with ensuite bathroom, queen size bed with ugly madras bedsheets, a TV with only 1 english channel BBC which was good enough. But the best thing about this place is the location. Smacked right next to the Bus Station.

I met a Welsh lady named Isla and a Brit named Mark who married a Thai lady and had a little boy named Dominic, who is extremely cheeky and would just play with his food, the soil in the flowerpod, the water in the fountain etc..

So that was day 1. Day 2 I met them again at the same little restaurant and they were heading out to the hot springs. The problem with not being able to drive or ride a bike is that I am stuck in one place. So I decided to chill out at the restaurant with a banana milk shake and read a book. SUSHI FOR BEGINNERS. Haha. Which was a good book, really ditzy and totally not me.

The night markets were full of hilltribe crafts and hippie reggae stuff, neither of which I am interested in. Me as a hippie in Singapore? Wouldn't cut it! But I found 2 tees for 120baht each! Looks exactly like those you can find in Bangkok but for a higher price (updated: I found exact same ones in Bangkok for 100baht each. URGH!).

20 baht rice with omellete.

There were also lots of live performances and street buskers. A really relaxed environment listening to music and watching musicians jam.

This band was really good and many people gathered around to watch them play. This place is a newspaper office in the morning and a bar at night.

Pai is extremely cold now. High up in the mountains, the night gets so cold that I have to wear my motorbike jacket, gloves and scarf to sleep! And it was still chilly. One night I went out without my scarf and gloves and I swear I could have just died.

So after 2 days of doing nothing, it was time for me to head back to Chiang Mai to catch a train to Bangkok. My journey is coming to an end.

2009-01-14T23:23:00.015+08:00

Chiang Mai, Thailand

So Tegra and I left the beautiful Nan for a noisy city- Chiang Mai. 5.5 hours, and conversations about high school, later we reached CM and went our own ways. Gonna miss having company.

Now I am staying at a couchsurfer's place and my gawd it is the most impressive place. SHE OWNS A 5 STAR HOTEL!! And I get to stay here for free, eat for free etc.. I certainly wasn't expecting a hotel, much less a 5 star hotel. Usually it is just a room!

Chiang Mai is definitely not as cold as Nan,what a disappointment.

One night I went out to the Anusarn Market and met a German girl who has been in Chiang Mai for the past 3 weeks, learning dressmaking! Haha.

I celebrated my 21st alone at an expensive Italian restaurant (400baht), had thin crust pizza and tirimisu. If only I had some company it would have been perfect. When I got back to the hotel though, Gaeng (my host's employee) celebrated with me with MORE CAKE and we even lit up a paper lantern. She said it would bring good luck.

I also joined a tour group (I just hate saying that, makes me feel old) to visit Doi Inthanon, the highest point in Thailand, some waterfalls and another god-knows-what palace. 1500baht I say! Jesus. So I celebrated it on the top of the world. Well, not quite but it'll do.

Did I mention that everyone on the tour were retirees? There were 2 french-canadians from Quebac, 2 canadians from nova scotia, 2 grumpy Italians (italians are always so grumpy eh), and 2 Thais.

With my touristsy-looking pose

We also visited a White Karen village and a Hmong market, which sold only organic fruits and veggies. I was quite apprehensive before the tour as I did not want to contribute to the "human zoo" effect of all these villages, but I was glad that the White Karen village I visited wasn't being treated like a human zoo.

Hmong market

2009-01-13T23:15:00.018+08:00

Nan, Thailand

I am in Nan now and brrr it is cold! I never thought Thailand could be so cold (just think of bangkok).

And I am loving it here. People are friendly. And they don't try to scam you for money unlike Bangkok.

Nan is really a town you need thai to get around. Shopkeepers barely speak thai, so I had to translate thai to english for Tegra.

We stayed at this guesthouse called Nan Guesthouse, and we were the only ones in the Guesthouse until the next day when someone checked in. It was cheap, only 170baht for a double bed room, which meant each person paid 85baht a night! Fan no aircon, but it was so cold in Nan the fan was redundant. Shared bathroom but it didn't matter as it had hot water (so hard to find in cheap Guesthouses) and anyway there weren't any other travellers to share with.

Had to pay 100baht for entrance to the Nan National Museum. Damn, because they thought I was Thai, until they saw Tegra and got the idea that I might not be local, which would be a mere 20B.

Shit english "...these lust two"

Food is cheap too. We had vegetarian buffet for 15baht! And we could buy cheap food at the night market too.

Nan is really a nice change, an untouched city.

We paid 1200baht each to go elephant trekking up in the mountain. Nan, unlike Chiang Mai or Chiang Rai, is largely untouched by tourist.

When we came back we just chilled by the River Nan

2009-01-13T18:53:00.018+08:00

Sukhothai

So I left Laos and took a bus to Khon Kaen in order to change to a bus to Sukhothai. The journey to suhothai was an arduous one. First, they only had a night bus to Sukhothai, which meant I had to wait in Khon Kaen for hours. Then, they said maybe I should take to Phitsanulok and change to Sukhothai because of the high frequency of buses.

So I took the bus to Phitsanulok and it was a loooooooooooooooong journey around the mountainous area. Beautiful view, but a fucking 6 hour ride going round and round the road bends.

When I finally did reach Phitsanulok, I boarded the bus to Sukhothai and met another travller, Tegra from Seattle. So I had some company for the rest of the 1 hr journey. When we got to Sukhothai's bus terminal, we parted ways and said we'll probably run into each other tomorrow at the ruins.

And we did! I was coming out of a temple when I thought she looked familiar. So we ended up exploring the place together, and even avoided paying 100baht for Wat Phra Ling by sneaking in from the back.

For lunch we had pad thai at a little cafe just by the park. The owner's little girl, 7 yrs old, came up to us and handed us dominos. Me, being without a childhood, didn't know how to play and had to let a little kid teach me. This little kid was really hyper, i suspect A.D.D. But definitely funny, she could so grow up to be a comedian or an actress.

We stayed in the park after dark, hoping to see the ancient wats under different lighting. We waited and waited, enchanging info about Seattle and Singapore, and eventually we were the only two left in the huge park and the stray dogs started roaming around us. We freaked out and packed up our stuff and had to climb over the huge gate to escape.

The early morning and the evening are really cold. You hafta wear a jacket and even snowcaps or gloves.

I eventually convinced Tegra to join me in Nan. So now I have a travellin buddy!

2009-01-09T17:46:00.024+08:00

So I am in Vientiane, the capital city of Laos. I decided to spend a few days in Laos since I had to cross the border for a visa run.

Vientiane is a rather quiet capital city, and the people here are much more laidback as compared to their thai neighbors. Here, tuk tuk drivers sleep in their tuk tuks, and if you need a ride you will then wake them up. And for those waiting by the sidewalks, if you say no they'll leave you alone, unlike the bangkok tuk tuk drivers who are relentless SOAB.

Vientiane is a rather modern city, certainly not third world looking. But of course this being the capital city.

But it still maintain its traditions such as the national costume, which everyone wears- to work, to school.

I met a fellow traveller on the same tuk tuk from the immigration to the city centre, an Aussie named Paul. He decided to join me in a search for a guesthouse. We found one by the name of Joe's Guest House, but unfortunately I took the last room.

Joe's Guesthouse was a cheap backpacker's place. Only 50,000kips (US$6) per night, a small prison-like room with a hard bed and shared toilets 3 steps away. But the location was great. Smacked right on the touristy strip of bars and restaurants next to the Mekong River, plus the receptionist was really nice. She even told me how much Lao people would pay to buy the trad. lao wraparound skirt so I wouldn't get cheated. And we watched Happy Feet together. Nice lady.

Vientiane is definitely not a place to go for really memorable tourist attractions. Many just felt rather boring. But what attractions don't offer, the food does.

At US$1, you can get a filling chicken or tuna french baguette, and for less than 50cents you can get a really fantastic banana shake.

The Patuxai

Stairways to heaven

View of Vientiane from the top of Patuxai- 7 floors high, may I add. Bloody climb to the top. Looks too modern to be Laos, I feel.

Laotian students outside a school.

I saw Laotian students watering their school grass, and now they even act as traffic marshalls! Things Singaporean students never hafta do, thank God! Imagine watering grass in primary school!

I got really bored when it was about dusk, and was thinking how great it would be to meet Paul so that I get some company. So I kept wandering around the streets hoping to see him. And when I didn't, after a while, I decided to head back to my guesthouse. By a weird decision to find a moneychanger, I decided to go out again, and that was when I met Paul! Haha.

So we decided that we'll head to the Night Market as recommended by his hotel receptionist, for local cuisine and more importantly, local price.

Kinda like a pasar malam, not unlike Singapore's. Difference? Singapore's market are much cleaner. Here, you can see flies on food, around food etc. But Paul managed to convince me to try some of the vietnamese Pho, which tasted great plus it was cheap (S$0.20).

After tasting all the food, we headed to a beach restaurant next to the Mekong River and had a chat while he had his Beer Lao.

Unfortunately, Paul was leaving the next morning to Luang Prabang so we decided to hit the sack and say our goodbyes. I would say so far my fondest experience while backpacking is the opportunity to meet people from all over. I've met Canadians, Danish and now an Aussie. Opens up your mind I'll say.

2009-01-06T15:31:00.007+08:00

I am in Kanchanaburi now, and it is really hot here. I decided to come here for a lesson trip on the history of World War 2 in Thailand.

It was a 12.5hr bus journey from Hatyai to Bangkok. And I had to sleep/sit next to a male teenager which was awkward but well I wanted cheap so I get cheap. Managed to catch a few winks only on the bus as it was so hard falling asleep when the road is bumpy and dehydration really keeps you awake (didn't wanna drink too much water lest i hafta pee).

When I finally reached the sacred land of the bus terminal, I swear my ass was praising his holy name. Then I had to purchase my ticket to Kanchanaburi which left me feeling lost as I wandered all around the bus station at 5 in the morning.

When I finally got onto the bus to K, the weirdest thing happened. I was just finish saying a short prayer for safe journey when suddenly BANG! the bus hit the taxi in front. God is quite a joker.

I am staying at a backpackers guesthouse called Blue Star Guesthouse, which is a really lovely place to stay. Plus it was cheap, only 150baht a night, which is about S$6.20. My own room with my own toilet, but only cold water so I was freezing. But this guesthouse had a restaurant that served cheap vegetarian food, so it was 30-40baht for sweet and sour Tofu with rice, or vegetarian pad thai.

The death railway. It is quite a tourist haven, swarmed with tourist, touts and taxi drivers. Like flies. As I stood there contemplating crossing (or not), my brain began to taunt me. I looked at the water, and decided what the heck I came all the way here and it ain't no time to be a chicken after 12.5+3hrs of bus ride.

As I crossed I kept telling myself not to look down, lest I fall or trip and embarrass myself in front of some hot caucasian ladies. I gripped my water bottle so tight and began marching onwards, on a bridge that was incorrectly named bridge over river kwai as the water below wasn't the river kwai. Yes, dumb government official.

Since I am a lone traveller, I decided that it would be more fun in taking pictures of Patrick representing me, then straining my hand trying to capture my own face. And look retarded while doing that.

There are different streets on the road with very interesting names like Singapore Road. It was to represent the different countries that the prisoners of war came from.

I visted the Jeath Museum, which didn't allow me to take pictures, but basically it contained pictures and paintings and newspaper clippings of the POW and their life in the concentration camp and building the railway that linked Thailand to Burma and India. Taken by the POW while they were in camp, it shows the horrific things the Japanese soldiers did to the Australian, American and many other soldiers.

Now that I am done visiting the tourist attractions of K, I am bored outta my mind here. I am staying in a 150B per night room which is ok, at least it comes with a bathroom. For 150B (~$6), one cannot complain.

The best part so far of my trip is riding a motorbike. Ok, I don't actually ride it (I am just a pillion rider). But I get to do it without a helmet! Liberating as the wind blows.

2009-01-04T17:18:00.002+08:00

I am finally leavin Hatyai tomorrow. Definitely not a place that has much soul. Imagine armed guards outside McDonalds and all around town. Kinda shows you how scary this place can be.

I am now wondering whether I should stay in Vientiane, Laos since I would be choosing doing the Laos-Thai border visa run rather than the Myammar-Thai visa run as it is much safer. The Junta is a rather crazy bunch of people and it would be best to avoid them.

2009-01-02T20:00:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year or Sawatdee Bpii Mai.

And thank God there wasn't any bomb blast on Christmas or New Years Day. For those who don't know, Hatyai has been bombed quite a few times in the past years, the last being 2007.

Hence you can probably understand how paranoid I was, sitting in my room, hearing fireworks that sounded like bombs (because I come from sheltered Singapore, I have never heard the sound of a bomb and hence every loud noise seemed to resemble that of a bomb).

I took some pictures, and I had to, because it was right outside my apartment! I mean, how often do you see it right IN FRONT of you? Even if you went down to Marina Bay for the countdown and the fireworks, it wasn't really really in front of you.

The fireworks set outside my apartment wasn't by the government but rather a group of Thai guys. Apparently in Hatyai it is not illegal to set off fireworks. In fact it was so bloody loud that the cars parked on the streets kept having their alarms set off.

To avoid the crowd and being caught in a potential bomb blast, I stayed in my apartment room and had a blue countdown all by myself, watching movies on TV.

I'm really bored here and I'm so glad I'm leaving this place for Kanchanaburi in 3days. I guess the only great thing so far is just having my own space, my own freedom, my own independence. Boy am I not looking forward to going home.

2008-12-27T20:56:00.005+08:00

What a day I would say!

Today I had to do a visa run. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, a visa run is exiting Thailand and entering Malaysia (or any other country - I chose Malaysia because it was just an hour away), then exit Malaysia immediately and re-enter Thailand for another 15days visa.

Bloody Thailand, just had to change the original 30days to a 15days visa.

My next visa run is on the 9th of Jan. Probably will be crossing the border at Myammar at Mae Sot.

Anyway this visa run is seriously a test for my timid spirit. I felt like a pig out of a buffet (fish out of water) and totally lost.

Luckily I met a fellow traveller, a Swedish-spanish-turkish, marijuana-smoking, 21 years old, named Sacha, on the bus to Padang Besar immigration. Dad is Turkish, mom is Swedish, born in Sweden, grew up in Spain, dad is now in Turkey. Aretha, hot caucasian alert! Too bad about the marijuana part though.

It was kinda like the blind leading the blind; neither have done visa run before. We paid 45baht (~$1.90) for the 1hours plus bus ride (non aircon, seats like SBS), and passed by rubber plantations after rubber plantations. I learned that Swedish people are serious folks, unfriendly (according to Sacha), beer is $8 in Sweden, smokes $9.

After exiting Thailand and toward the Malaysian border, we stopped by a huge duty free complex to find some food.

DAMN CHOCOLATES HEAVEN!!! Chocolates were aplenty and cheap(er). Of course we, being backpackers, stuck to only buying the neccessities and just bought buns and what-nots at the minimart. We sat by the road, looking like poor beggers, stuffing our face and moaning about life.

Well, he is on his way to Koh Samui now and I am seating here in an internet cafe full of thai boys playing computer games and talking/screaming so loudly. Well, it is 20B/hr, which works out to less than a dollar, as compared to a quiet but expensive 50B/hr at the shopping mall.

As the hokkiens say, "mai hiam buay pai. hiam liao kana sai.". Which directly translate to "Don't complain, not bad. Complain, like shit."

2008-12-26T01:23:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas to all of my friends reading this.

SAWATDEE HO!

2008-12-19T20:33:00.002+08:00

Hello from Hatyai.

It is day 7 here, and may I say, how boring Hatyai is?

The funniest thing about being here during Christmas season is hearing Christmas Christian songs everywhere.

Jesus and a Buddhist country just don't go hand in hand.

It is like going to Italy and celebrating Selamat Hari Raya.

I'm glad that so far, I am able to understand Thais 50% when they speak.

Quite an accomplishment right?

2008-12-13T21:09:00.006+08:00

14 hours later on a bus, I am in Hatyai now, and boy are the things cheap!

Food wise not so because it is 35baht for a freaking small bowl of fish soup noodle and 50baht for a slightly bigger bowl of wanton mee.

So far, things look quite safe here. It was a long journey here, and on the way here I encountered some of the worst toilets ever in Malaysia (stank like 100years old pee), and some of the ruddest Malaysians. Sad to say the stereotype for them is so true.

Hatyai reminds me of Malaysia and not Thailand because everyone here speaks mandarin and some english. Mandarin.. just like Malaysia. But of course I finally got a chance to practice my thai with the bus guide, with my apartment lady, with some other random people. And I'm surviving!

McDonald's fillet o'fish is 54baht (about $2), and the meal cost 99baht (about $4). Ice cream cone is 9 baht (around $0.35).

I guess the worse nightmare came true, I forgot to bring my AUD dollar that was meant for Shermain and now we are crazily trying to get people to go to my place to take the money and transfer over.

What a nightmare.

2008-12-12T14:07:00.002+08:00

Ok I'm leaving Singapore tonight!

I'll be heading to Hatyai, followed by a bus to Bangkok, then a train to Ayutthaya, from there take a bus to kanchanaburi, take a bus to Nan, then to Chiang Mai, head down to Mae Hong Son, and then back to Chiang Mai to spend my 21st birthday, and train back to Bangkok. Then a bus back to Hatyai and from there, I'll take a bus back to Singapore.

I hope nothing happens to me. Hopefully I'll get to practice and polish up my thai there.

Will update the blog from time to time! Cya Chinese New Year!

2008-12-06T16:24:00.001+08:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

2008-12-06T13:35:00.002+08:00

My laptop is back! I'll highly recommend Alex from PC MAN IT SOLUTION at Sim Lim Square #05-09.

Will be ending work (finally!) this Thursday, and..

Will be leaving on Friday! Woot! I'll be back probably 25th January, at least I hope to be back by then. Cos 26th is CNY, and no one in the right mind will miss CNY ($$).

Would be backpacking Thailand and Laos. Gonna take a 14hr long bus ride up to Hatyai. Will be stayin there for a while, before taking a 12hr bus ride to Bangkok. Might be meeting Ploy there. Wouldn't be hanging around Bkk for long, maybe a few hours if possible. A city gets me down.

Then I'll take a train or bus down or plane down to Chiang Mai, spend maybe 2-3 days there, then take a 3hr bus to Chiang Rai, which I am looking forward to because of the nature.

After a few days there, if i am still left with money, i'll head to laos. If not, i'll come home. So lets see how it goes.

2008-11-30T21:36:00.002+08:00

My laptop is down and is currently under service at Sim Lim.

To get that old bugger repaired, I had to spend $80.

2 weeks more baby. Oh, the feeling of excitement!

Meanwhile, I am thinking of where I should spend my 21st birthday.

Laos? Vietnam?

2008-11-29T10:27:00.002+08:00

Crazy Thailand..

I thought airports should be the most heavily guarded building in every country?

Then how did this group of disgrunted uncle and aunties with clappers manage to take over not one, but BOTH of Bkk's airports?

Could it have easily been taken over by a group of fanatic militants?

-shudders-

Momma said I should postpone my trip. I am not planning to, but I continue to watch the situation and contact my friend in Hatyai.

2008-11-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

Mom is pissed about the couchsurfing thing and has banned it forever until I get my own place.

Whatever lah. Bpai loie wa. Mae muang.

2008-11-20T22:10:00.002+08:00

I have been so busy this week - with couchsurfing!

I hosted Anna and Wojtek, a married Polish couple for 4 nights, and I would say it is one of the greatest experience ever. I picked them up from the airport on Sunday, though I had some trouble identifying them :)

Wojtek, Anna, Widic (a friend of theirs, who is interning for 3 months in Singapore with the EU commisioner) and me, at Suntec City's Fountain of wealth.

The best thing about hosting them was the chance to learn a few Polish words. If you think mandarin is difficult, think again. In my opinion, Polish is 1.5 times more difficult than Polish (speaking, not the writing).

Anna and Wojtek (pronounced as 'Voj tack') are really tall. Anna (pronounced as 'Ania') is 1.73m tall and Wojtek is 1.8m tall. I felt like a little dwarf around them.

Hosting travellers has allowed me to experience another world. I get to know about Kracow, Poland even without being there. But it has its cons too. I lose my privacy, I have to fit my schedule around them, I have to share my toilet (which is my worse ever nightmare) and I have to deal with a very messy room due to their stuff.

Though all in all, I would do it again. For now, I just need a break.

2008-11-16T00:56:00.002+08:00

So its the weekends and there is only 2 weeks left for work, woo!

I'm right back to where I've started a few months ago - what should I study and where.

Though marketing appeals to me greatly, I'm also realistic about the job prospects. Thu I am now considering Physiotherapy.

The problem is, CAN I DO IT?

I was afterall, an art student, since Sec 3. I have not been actively pursuing anthing related to science for the past few years. Hence my worries. Human anatomy is the main component, with biology and physics included. The only thing I know right now about the human body are the names of the huge muscle groups that I work while training at the gym. Jeez.

The only comfort is the fact that if ITE grads can make it to NUS, what more a former 15pointer like me. I ain't stupid, I just wasn't interested in JC.

And if I decide to choose Physio, where do I study? Someone suggested to me that maybe I should consider joining the army, as I might get a chance of a scholorship. I don't mind really, the idea of toughening up oneself is appealing. But with my qualifications, can I even stand a chance of a scholorship? Doubt so.

Oh God... HELP!

2008-11-06T23:12:00.006+08:00

When will discrimination end?

Proposition 8 was passed in California, the same day Obama was elected president. I didn't know whether to smile or to cry.

For those who don't know what Prop 8 is all about, it is basically an ammendment to the constitution which would establish marriage as a union between a man and a woman only. California had, earlier this year, passed a law allowing same-sex couples to get married.

People may not understand how it affects me, and people like me, who are not US citizens. But it does, because whatever happens in the States will slowly translate overseas. It is sad, that even in the state of California, especially in the state of California, homophobia still exists and ignorance is not bliss.

In the weeks leading up to the poll, the Mormon church used 20 MILLION for ads. 20 MILLION - in a bid to 'save marriage'. They do not realise, of course, that the biggest threat to conventional marriage is not gay marriage but conventional adultery & conventional divorce. Churches and Christians went about preaching hatred and discrimination - what is wrong with you guys?!

Sad to say though, that should Singapore one day be faced with a similar situation, I have a nagging feeling that my so-called christian friends would be the first in line to picket outside my house and strip my rights to marry.

The only good news is that Barack Obama is the first President-elect to mention gay and lesbian rights in his acceptance speech. I just hope now that he has gotten what he wants, he would not forget the many gays and lesbians who voted for him, and he would bring the CHANGE.

2008-11-05T22:19:00.006+08:00

"Change has come to America"

Barack Obama is the 44th president of the United States of America, Nov 4th being the historical day.

What an election, I would say. Never had I imagined that a black man could become the president of the world's most powerful nation, a nation plagued by accusations of racial discimination and tension.

But today Obama defied all odds and defeated McCain. But it is not just because he won, but rather it is the magnitude of his winning that amazes me.

Obama won California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, the District of Columbia, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Virginia, Vermont, Washington and Wisconsin.

McCain had Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia and Wyoming. He also won at least 3 of Nebraska's five electoral votes, with the other two in doubt.

Many of the states that Obama won used to be a Republican stronghold, like Indiana and Virginia, which hadn't supported the Democratic candidate in 44 years. Ohio and Florida, key to President Bush's twin victories, also went for Obama, as did Pennsylvania, which McCain had deemed crucial for his election hopes. Places that whites ruled and minorities were well... minorities. The change can only represent ne thing - more acceptance and less discrimination.

Of course, there were still many mid-west and southern states that voted for McCain. There is a particular Youtube video about white voters in Oklahoma making racial comments about Obama. Disgusting.

Obama faces a staggering list of problems, that he called "the greatest of our lifetime — two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century." He spoke of parents who worry about paying their mortgages and medical bills.

"There will be setbacks and false starts," Obama said. "There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem."

"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep," Obama cautioned.

2008-11-03T22:30:00.003+08:00

So the lone traveller is on the move again - this time, its Phnom Pehn.

So I'll be going over to Phnom Penh Feb 4th to Feb 7th, 4 days (more like 3 days as depart PP in the wee morning.). Jetstar Asia was having a $0 fare discount, so I only had to pay fuel and whatever shit nots. So both ways $160 (cheebye must pay $6 extra for credit card usage!)

Quite apprehensive at first. This is afterall Cambodia, and it is not considered as safe as Bangkok. Not that Bangkok is any safer anyway. It is just that BKK is more... touristy? So you kinda feel a teenie weenie safer.

Anyway, I'm gonna be enjoying some time alone. And I'm leaving for Hatyai for 1 month next month! Whoo. Seems like I have been travelling alot this year. But definitely not as exciting as Drea's (fucking jealous). LOL.

2008-11-02T14:24:00.012+08:00

One of the funniest book I have ever read!

EVIL PENGUINS - when cute penguins go bad

The coca cola bear

Heating up the ice

Humpty Dumpty

Drowning Noah

Peeling Mr.Potato

The lion, the witch and the wardrobe

And this is me and Ronnie boy wasting our time at Ikea.

2008-11-01T01:50:00.007+08:00

I came home to find this on my table... Obama's campaign badge!!! WHOO!!

I've been pestering my mom to ask Uncle Alex (an American citizen living in Spore) to go to the embassy and get it for me. Finally!

Sorry Fish, don't be angry. Could only get one.

HALLOWEEN!

This year's halloween is a much more tone down version as compared to last year's party at St James.

This year I headed down to Yan's halloween party at Post Museum (near Mustafa). It was a laid-back event, people dressed in costumes just chilling out and watching thai ghost movie.

This year I didn't feel excited about dressing up so what I did was I taped some scraped fabrics taken from the office to make my cape and mask. I wanted to be a superhero.

Ant is interviewing Yan (Mother Yan for a day... nun!), something related to a bdsm exhibition or whatever.

JASON vs CAPTAIN C

2008-10-29T22:12:00.002+08:00

i am a Harmony-seeking Idealist (HI)

Harmony-seeking Idealists are characterised by a complex personality and an abundance of thoughts and feelings. They are warm-hearted persons by nature. They are sympathetic and understanding. Harmony-seeking Idealists expect a lot of themselves and of others. (True) They have a strong understanding of human nature and are often very good judges of character. But they are mostly reserved and confide their thoughts and feelings to very few people they trust. (True) They are deeply hurt by rejection or criticism (True). Harmony-seeking Idealists find conflict situations unpleasant and prefer harmonious relationships. (True) However, if reaching a certain target is very important to them they can assert themselves with a doggedness bordering on obstinacy. (True)

Harmony-seeking Idealists have a lively fantasy, often an almost clairvoyant intuition and are often very creative. Once they have tackled a project, they do everything in their power to achieve their goals. (True) In everyday life, they often prove to be excellent problem solvers. They like to get to the root of things and have a natural curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. (True) At the same time, they are practically oriented, well organised and in a position to tackle complex situations in a structured and carefully considered manner. (True) When they concentrate on something, they do so one hundred percent - they often become so immersed in a task that they forget everything else around them. That is the secret of their often very large professional success. (True)

As partners, harmony-seeking idealists are loyal and reliable; a permanent relationship is very important to them. (True) They seldom fall in love head over heels nor do they like quick affairs. (True) They sometimes find it very difficult to clearly show their affection although their feelings are deep and sincere. (True) In as far as their circle of friends is concerned, their motto is: less is more! (True) As far as new contacts are concerned, they are approachable to only a limited extent; they prefer to put their energy into just a few, close friendships. (True) Their demands on friends and partners are very high. (True) As they do not like conflicts, they hesitate for some time before raising unsatisfactory issues and, when they do, they make every effort not to hurt anyone as a result. (True)

a very accurate personality test.

http://ipersonic.com/index.html

2008-10-27T23:18:00.003+08:00

Pisser. The Aussie dollar just dropped to another all time low. Damn. But there should be no regrets, I suppose, with the market so voilatile, it could be up in a spitzer.

I read an article on my company's website. Read on guys.

It says "This is the intro to the short story "The body", late made into the film "Stand by me." I had it memorized when I was in middle school, and reading it still brings back how I felt feeling unable to come out:

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it?

The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear."

Like the author, reading this passage brought back memories of how afraid I was, never wanting people to know that I'm gay, and how hard it was to express it in words to my mom and my friends, because there were simply no words to best describe it.

I feared no one would understand nor accept; I feared rejection; I feared change.

I did face rejections, from my mom who expressed rather clearly that she would prefer me never to date another girl and just 'be a lesbian', to a church that is against 'people like me', and to christian friends who trid to 'show me the light'.

I saw the disdain and lack of understanding in their eyes, like as though I just stopped being the Chrys they knew and have turned into someone different.

Although I have come a long way in my journey of self-pride and self-acceptance, I still face internal-homophobia and fear everyday. Today lunch at Aunt's place was awkward, as she brought up the subject of me going back to church. I told her, I would never again step into a place that discriminates. She rebutted and said "tell me who and I'll confront them!" I wanted so badly to tell her that I'm gay, and that she might just be like one of those christians judging me. But my aunt is a fundamentalist christian, and I don't want to lose an aunt. So I am still the straight niece.

My sister is kept in the dark too. Granted, she is young, but whenever she brings up the topic of "jie, why don't you date Ronald? you two are very close.", I just don't know how to explain things to her.

She is not the only one in the dark. Every year at my Nanny's place for CNY lunch, I would pretend to be straight. Try to wear my 'straightest-looking' clothes and act my straightest. I even had to proclaim my 'straightness' when casually asked if I was seeing another girl. I hated myself for not being who I really am, but I can never come out to them. Not unless I wanna lose them.

I guess one day I would be really proud of who I am. And maybe one day, being gay wouldn't even be such a hot topic anymore.

2008-10-25T19:12:00.003+08:00

Its the start of a long weekend- thanks to Depavali,I am earning $52 less this month! Fark.

I am currently typing out a scholarship letter and getting reference letters. I am hoping to get some form of financial aid.

Pray for me.

2008-10-23T20:36:00.002+08:00

So today I managed to change SGD2040 to AUD. The rate I got was 1.02, because my uncle is the GM of Mustafa so he managed to get a slightly better rate for me. So its AUD2000.

Tomorrow I'm changing another SGD2000. God please make it drop even further!

2008-10-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

It is always when you need desperately need God's intervention that you'll feel that He can't be found. Faith is believing what cannot be seen, but I swear God, your disappearing act is one hella irritating and I wish you would just show me a way or drop me an out-of-jail card.

I hope I can get the job at McDonald's call centre. The lady called today and said HR will call me again to confirm interview date. I need a night and weekend job to supplement my day job.

$10,000- I am aiming for this. With this amount, I can live in Adelaide for about a year without working part-time.

Somehow, somewhere down the road, I believe the struggles I am facing now, my determination and a dream, will serve me well and build my character and resillence.

Sometimes, its good when things aren't handed to us on a platter. You learn to earn it and work for it.