Tuesday, July 08, 2008
When does one realise the change of tides in life? What triggers it?
Just yesterday, one of my dearest and loved friend, Aretha, left for Down Under for her studies. It was at the airport that I realised how much have changed. The 4 of us grew up together, and now each of us are leading our own lives, pursuing our different dreams.
And what am I doing now? I began to look into my life, and I have a sense of jealousy and regrets and other loads of emotions running through me. Aretha's chance to study abroad made me pissed about my situation, wishing I could have what she and many other friends are having.
I also began to question my future. Right now beauty is all that is on my mind. My meagre salary is all being saved up for it. Am I too sucked into a superficial world where whats inside doesn't matter as much as the outside? But can I pretend to ignore it?
I'm sorry if you are reading this and wondering what is going on. Unfortunately, I can't divuldge it here, though only a few friends have an idea. It will remain a secret for I cannot stand yet another judgemental opinion on me.
Life is precious, but when things go wrong, will we give it up? A friend of mine suspect he has Aids, though he can't test it yet. He gravely told me that if it turns out to be positive, he will end his life.
Suddenly my life is so much more complicated than what I had imagine it to be many years ago. Aids was never part of my life equation, so when I have to face it through the eyes of a dear friend, I am sadden by how real the situation is. I pray to God that it is negative.
Without trying to sound cheesy, I miss you Aretha, and I am gonna miss you till you come back (thank god for school breaks in Dec!).
I love you lots babe, you really are my joke book.