Thursday, June 28, 2007

Today.Thursday.

My energy is depleted. My reserves are empty. 9-12, 6-9 classes are energy-zapping killers.

"It is better to be hated for what one is, than to be loved for what one isn't"- Andre Gide, Writer

Such a beautiful and meaningful line.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Today.Sunday.

I went to FCC today. Met this wonderful and amazing lady, Vid, who is in her 40s. She is gentle, funny and attractive, and she was so nice as to volunteer to accompany me at FCC. I joke about her age, and she makes fun of my youth.

FCC is so.. different. Here, I feel welcomed for me, being ME. It is so different when I was in Bethel. It is like being welcomed into the church only if you saw off your arm and legs (which implies my sexual orrientation).

She drove me to Jin's house at Somerset (next to the Istana!) and I forced her to stay for the cell group meeting. Meeting Jin, Jean, Peggy and Ant for the first time, yet it felt like I have known them for years. Hearing their life stories and coming out processes was like hearing my own life story.

And with all these mature women (who made me feel like a kid haha), it is so interesting to hear what they hafta say, and how they analyze things. Unlike being in a cell with young secondary school kids with no intellectual things to say.

It was a cell group, and it is the first time I really felt accepted for who I am in a cell. Bethel leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

We all drove down to Newton Circle for dinner. I wished I had a car! Everyone was driving, and me being the little baby of the group, had to hitch a ride with Vid.

Today is probably one of the better days I have had in months. Can't wait for the following week to come, and I'll get to see Vid in church. My sexy mama V! Haha this is nuts. School starts tomorrow. Vid said learning Jap ain't so bad, one can always use it in future. Haha she probably can't stand the whining of a school kid.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Today.Friday.

Watch this video. It is a very touching interview Ellen Degeneres (my idol) did in 1997, when she came out as a lesbian on national tv, and the struggles and the shit she got.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOR3NCRwr9w&mode=related&search=

And this following show is about transgendered children, who believes they are of the opposite sex stuck in the wrong body since the day they were born. And the attacks and nasty remarks that they received in school and everywhere.

Remember your tissue paper!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Utpam0IGYac&mode=related&search=

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Today.Thursday.

Woke up with my glutes and legs hurting from yesterday's training. I can't even walk properly now.

Sprained my lower back yesterday, and it hurts. Thank God I have a mom who does massages.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHERMAIN TAN!!!!

Went out yesterday to celebrate main's birthday at New York New York.

Jac and Shermain

My favourite picture of Shermain Tan

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Today.Tuesday.

Decided to skip going to the gym today (gasps!) and skip going down to Chinatown with my mom and sister ( no gasps :D )

Oh I found some really funny Ellen Degeneres' quotes on the net.

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong - normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'

You ask people why they have deer heads on the wall. They always say, “Because it's such a beautiful animal.” There you go. I think my mother's attractive, but I have photographs of her.

I simply love this woman. She makes me feel sane.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Today.Sunday.

Scraped my plans to go FCC today cos I couldn't wake up. Instead I went to Holland Village alone.

Holland V is THE place to find gorgeous looking people, men and women (minus the ah peks and aunties).

And it is also one of THE place to find alot of gay men! Everywhere along the streets you will find 1 gay couple out of 10.

Such a nice place to cruise.

AND THERE IS NO MORE FACTORY OUTLET AT HOLLAND V!!!!

No more cheap Abercrombie tees :(

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Today.Saturday.

There is this saying that goes, "You are what you eat".

fark.

Am I gonna end up as

a chicken breast

and

a wholemeal bread?!?!

holy calamity!!

Haha this is just a super random post cos I was feeling bored :D

Friday, June 15, 2007

Today.Friday.

Just a funny side story:

One of my gay friend told me that I RESEMBLE A GAY MAN MORE THAT A BUTCH

-___-?!?!

Seriously? But I never identified myself as a butch what.. Just more.. boyish.

He said,

"You have short hair, yet you wear tight muscle tees like most gay man.. You even wear pink muscle tees!

You talk like a slightly effeminate gay man, your hand gestures are so gay and you have this super bitchy tone!

And which butch applies body moisturiser and skin care product every night?

And since when does a butch study fashion design? And sew?

And you even read VOGUE and FASHION MAGAZINES!

You apply concealer and you draw our eyebrows and you want to go for eyebrow trimming.. Sounds more gay than butch lah!

And lastly..

You prefer to club at GAY CLUBS RATHER THAN LESBIAN CLUBS!!!"

I burst out laughing when he told me that.. Like seriously??

When I told J.Y about it, she thought about it and EVEN AGREED WITH HIM!!

But come to think of it.. Yeah I do find myself behaving more like a gay guy than a lesbian!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S Have a safe trip J.Y if you happen to read this!!!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Today.Thursday.

Bumped around at home, decided not to go to the gym, and not to go for tonight's Butch Hunt at Zouk.

Why would I bother going to look at butches anyway???

Found this real emotional poem on the net. And I highlighted the lines that I personally been through.

HOMOPHOBIA
--------------------------------------------------

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. (yes, this actually happened)

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

I am the gay male student that had to switch to another high school on my senior year, because I told my teachers that I was gay. One said that I was going to hell the other wanted to cure me.

I am the person that can not act/be themselves in fear of what others will think of me and if they will accept me.

I am your best friend, the same person you grew up with, and told your secrets too. The person you can't talk to anymore, because my partner is a women.

I am the daughter and best friend, the girl you raised and loved. Now you wont talk to me because i shattered your dreams of ever having children, And you your afraid of how to tell your friends about me and not be embarrassed.

I am the person, with the same fears, hurts, needs and wants as you. I bleed, I breathe, I understand, I Live.....With our hearts open and our eyes closed we are all the same people. Living life the best way we know how, with what we have been given.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

I teared when I read this, because I could relate to this poem. The hurt, the suicidal thoughts, the rejection- what many people in our community has faced, here or overseas.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Today.Wednesday.

Signed up for the Mizuno Wave Run 2007 yesterday with Andrea.

Go 6137 & 6138!!!!!

While we were at Plaza Sing's foodcourt, I heard some real nasty homophobic comments made by these 3 ladies next to us. Andrea was buying her yong tau foo so I was alone, and pissing steaming with anger as they ranted on and on about how DISGUSTING HOMOSEXUALS ARE.

I overheard one of them commenting on a friend(?) of theirs.. "The two of them are both the feminine type leh.. it is not one boy one girl kind. I thought one will be like more boyish in the relationship..."

NO STUPID FUCKED BITCH, NOT ALL RELATIONSHIPS CONSISTS OF ONE 'GUY' AND ONE 'GAL'. IN FACT IT IS MORE COMMON IN OUR COMMUNITY TO FIND TWO FEMININE LESBIANS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Then she went on saying, "I think it is so disgusting lor.." and the word 'DISGUSTING' kept popping up in her next few sentences.

Andrea is right, it is not only that her comments are homophobic and bigotted, but just the fact that she is so insensitive to her surrounding fellow human beings who are people with feelings too, just clearly reflects on her horrible upbringing by her parents.

Making such comments in front of a homosexual is like talking about how fat people are ugly and stuff, and an obese person is sitting next/near you.

It is seriously ridiculous that people fail to see the 'SINS' in their lives and yet are able to comment on someone else's 'SIN'.

Which in this case, in my opinion, being a homosexual is NOT a sin.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Today.Saturday.

Guys watch this video!! I swear you will laugh your pants/skirt/underwear off! The NTU lecturer is so damn funny :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOqXlbWf9Io&mode=related&search=

Friday, June 08, 2007

Today.Friday.

Went Sentosa yesterday with Johanna and Estee. And since when did Sentosa started having MRT-lookalike trains?!?!

Damn I must be really outdated.

The sun was SCORCHING HOT. Like you could literally feel the rays seeping into your skin and slapping it. Even my slippers were burning my feet.

Out came the sunblock and tanning lotion. SPF 15!!!!!

Its is so funny, cos we were acting all Tourisy and stuff. Like speaking gibberish and some Japanese sentences; acting like tourists.

We even took pictures like tourists.

Seriously though, Sentosa is a freaking MANUFACTURED place.

Every plant and tree is neatly arranged.

Welcome to Plastic Land.

When I reached home, I quickly grabbed all my skincare products- lotions, moisturiser, hand cream, butter cream, cleanser- and slapped it on my face and body so that it wouldn't get damaged and as dry as a prune face.

Seriously.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Today.Wednesday.

Went for a 45mins body massage at Roxy Square that only costs $32. Damn helluva good cos I have been having stiff shoulder and neck for the past week.

No Pain really equates to No Gain, I guess.

I think I am a massage addict now.

Found out about this show called "Gay, Straight or Taken" that has been postd on YouTube.

The show's lean premise is this:

A woman arrives on a dating show where she chooses an ideal mate from three eligible bachelors, with the goal of winning a tropical getaway with her new man.

But then the rules change. Once she has met the guys, she is told that one of the men is not single and has a girlfriend, while another is not single and has a boy friend.

In order to win the romantic vacation getaway for herself and her date, the woman must choose the straight, unattached contender.

If she picks one of the “taken” men, that man and his girlfriend or boyfriend will walk away with the prize.

Can you tell who is the gay one, who is the straight but taken one, and who is the straight and single one?

The Answer:

From left to right: Taken, Single, Gay.

I love this show cos it exposes how people sterotype gays: The ladies always assume that if the man is feminine, a makeup artist, wears pink, has a good fashion sense, an interior designer, goes to a gym, a former male cheerleader in high school, or cannot play basketball, he is gay.

And they always turn out to be wrong.

I like what one contestant, who is gay but was chosen as the single straight man, said after the lady expressed her shock and disbelief,

"We gays don't always prance around you know.."

:)

Monday, June 04, 2007

Today.Sunday.

Went out with my friends today for dinner at Changing Appetites: to celebrate Amanda's birthday!

Happy 20th birthday Manda (the one in yellow)!